Apparantly I don't listen well the first time...

You ever get that nagging feeling from your parents growing up when they kept telling you the same thing over and over? Do you know why they did that? Cause they know you so well and they know the first time won't cut it. You will forget, or not listen at all, or not fully grasp it.
Well our heavenly Father repeats things for us too. Not to nag us, but to help us 'GET IT'. This seems to be happening alot for me lately. I guess Im pretty hard headed. I know, you gasping in shock, right? Yesterday Dave's lesson was on Deborah, how God called a woman to do a huge job because there wasn't a man willing to step up. He talked about how we aren't called because we are already equipped, but that God equips the called. It was such a good lesson as his teaching always is. But I took it with me and I thought about it for a while and I said to myself, yes I know...ok, on to the next thing. I do that alot, I shove things that I know are being thrown right in my face way back to the back of my mental closet. However, God has been rearranging in my closet and He brought that lesson back to me this morning in my email. I get devotions from Proverbs 31 Ministries. And what was it talking about? Uh huh...you got it.
Lately I've been feeling very unequipped for our trip to Africa. And at times I've even thought its not possible that we are ever gonna get there. There are so many factors. I'm not yet equipped for this task. I know people that have been able to raise money for mission trips in a few weeks time, yet here we are a year and a half later and not even at 50%. There are alot of other factors too. But is that how God works? Does He just call the 'equipped'? No. He WILL equip me because He called me. It goes back to another lesson I keep having to relearn...patience. You've been there before with me, I know. I have to remember not only that He will equip me, but that He will do it in HIS time. I'm hearing you Lord. Thank you for rearranging my closet. I love you, Father.

Are you grateful?

I'm gonna get a little sappy today...Especially the song. lol

I've been searching myself this week. Its hard to see sometimes. But I don't show my gratefulness the way I should. I tell my gratefulness to my hubbalicious, but I need to show him more. I think its something we all fall short in once in a while. God gave me this wonderful man to spend my life with and what a blessing it is to be able to share everyday with my very best friend ever! But women are the ones who need to hear things, while men need to be shown and feel love. Me just telling my honey that I love him, doesn't SHOW him. He deserves more...He deserves appreciation for all he does for our family, he deserves to know without doubt that noone could ever love him like I do! In the past my husband wasn't loved the way he deserved to be loved. He has had someone in his life that had no appreciation for who he was or what he did. I vow to never let myself become that in his life. I want him to know EVERY SINGLE DAY that he will never have to feel that again. God has given us a gift in each other and when you are given a gift that is so precious you take care of it. I LOVE my gift in Dave. I can't imagine life and don't even want to think about him not being my partner on this journey. And by showing him my love, I show GOD my love and gratitude for the blessing He gave me in Dave. Marriage isn't always an easy journey to take, but if you keep gratitude for each other in your hearts and you show each other EVERY DAY that you are glad to be walking hand in hand with them it sure makes for a happier more peaceful road to take.

I love you, hubbalicious! Thank you for the ridiculous amount of patience you have loving me! You are one of the 3 greatest earthly gifts my Father could have and did bless me with!

"For even the very hairs of your head are all numbererd..."

Leave it to me to learn a lesson of patience one day and lose it the very next. Some things we just have to keep learning over and over and over. We are alot like Israel and their vicious cycle thru much of the old testament where they would trust God and be on top of the world one minute and then think they can handle things themselves the next. Guess what...they fell flat on their face. I fell again yesterday...so I'm getting myself back up and trusting that His plan...not mine, is right on schedule! Many of you know I'm on the job hunt...It's rough. Really rough. I have let the business world beat me down and tell me I'm not good for anything cause I've stayed home for 5 years with my kids. Well, who are they to tell me that? I'm the daughter of a KING! I don't need the business world's approval. He will put me where I belong. I'm setting out today with a new attitude about working again. I'm not going back to work taking any job that will have me, I'm waiting for the perfect job GOD wants me to have. No matter how long that takes. If He knows even the number of hairs on my head(with which curly hair changes OFTEN) lol, then He knows when and where that perfect job is, with the perfect schedule, perfect pay, perfect everything. This is me trusting HIM!

Thank you Lord for caring so much about every detail of my life!

Patience...who needs it?!

So I was looking for a heartsong to go with the thoughts in my mind and on my heart today, dealing with having patience...WAITING on the Lord. Seems patience is not a popular subject for songs. We don't like having to have patience. 'I want this and I want it now!'- seems to be the theme for mankind these days. Trust me, Im not one for being a fan of having to be patient myself. I try, I sincerely do. And I think in alot of ways I've succeeded. I waited 4 years to finally be in the same state as the man I love. It was a constant struggle to be patient, but the Lord has truly blessed our marriage because of it. I honestly don't know many people as disgustingly happy and in love as we are and I wish that everyone could have that!
Recently God has been moving in our lives in huge ways! Heavy HEAVY burdens from the past have been lifted and essentially thrown out the window! Praise God for His goodness! For finding us faithful and worthy enough! These lifted burdens have opened doors. But instead of taking my time to walk thru each door with patience and guidance and in the way God would have me to, I've been trying to run thru each door as fast as possible! In my mind I thought, God has brought us this far...He wouldn't dangle the prize in front of us just to take it away or hold onto it and keep it from our grasp longer! In my heart, I know that is not how God works. He isn't dangling the shiny in front of us, He's merely saying..."Jill, Just wait! Its coming! I promise!" Every word I heard spoken and preached from the Bible yesterday was like it was being blasted directly at me. It was like God was in the room with his hands on my shoulders shaking me saying "Jill, Are you listening to me yet???" From Dave's lesson in our SS class on Gideon and faith, to our guest speaker Bro. Moody last nite about Easy Doesn't Do It...I had to sit there and say, Ok God, I get it. I hear you! In the words of Bro. Moody, If you want the blessings of God, You have to do it HIS way! We need the power of God in what we are doing! I want to be like Obededom with my house full of God's blessings because I had patience and faithfulness and did it HIS WAY!

I heard you loud and clear Father! Thank you, for your unending love, I will wait upon you, Lord!

Here is a song that even though its not necessarily about patience in its subject, it is about following Him and walking with Him. Really that's all we have to do to find patience.

When Jesus is your portion...

I've spent so many days searching, longing for something more, worrying about little things that if I had just held to my faith, I know my God is bigger than. I am feeling a great movement in my heart and truthfully, in my whole life. I have struggled alot the last few years. I never just pushed God out, but I had Him on a back burner. Life happens, struggles come, your mind starts to take over and you try to control things yourself. But God has told us HE WANTS TO BE #1! He deserves no less! And its in those times when we push aside our pride and and realize we can't take on the trials of this life on our own and we step aside and let God take over that we finally discover that He's all we need...All along He was always all we needed! I have so many blessings in my life! I have an incredible husband to spend my days with, fabulous, hilarious kids to enjoy, friends that have filled my heart! I don't want to ever lose these things, but I've come to the point in my life that even if I didn't have these things...HE IS MY PORTION! I can make it thru anything anywhere with Him in the driver seat! Jesus is Lord of my life! And I've never had more joy, more gratefulness, and more blessings! I think I'm gonna need some more cups!



why should I feel discouraged
and why should the shadows come
why should my heart feel lonely
and long for heaven and home

when Jesus is my portion
a constant friend is He
His eye is on the sparrow
and I know He watches over me
His eye is on the sparrow
and I know He watches over me

I sing because I'm happy
I sing because I'm free
His eye is on the sparrow
and I know He watches me
He watches me
His eye is on the sparrow
and I know He watches
I know He watches,
I know He watches me.

I sing because I'm happy
I sing because I'm free
His eye is on the the sparrow
and I know He watches me
He watches me

His eye is on the sparrow
and I know he watches me
He watches me
He watches me
I know He watches me

When you look up...

When you look up, what do you see? Do you see clouds, or look for stars? Do you think about who's looking at that same sky in that same moment? Do you imagine flying thru that beautiful blue sky? Do you find birds and wonder where they are headed? When I look up, I see heaven waiting for me! When I was a little girl I always that that God lived on the biggest, fluffiest, whitest, & brightest cloud! You know the one! The one where the rays of sunshine were coming down all the way to the ground on every side of it and then a big shiny ray coming right down thru the middle of that cloud. That's where the throne must be! I'm grown and I know a little more and I know that's not true, but when I look up, I still imagine it. I still see God sitting up there watching right over me. I imagine that He must laugh at me alot. I do alot of dumb things. But isn't it the most wonderful thing you could imagine when you look up? I think it is! I also think I need to start looking up more often.

How Great is Our God?

"Count your blessings, name them one by one...count your blessings see what God hath done!"

An old hymn with so much wisdom! I've recently been feeling really quite awesome. Its been truthfully the best feeling 3 weeks in about 2 years. I've dealt with alot of medical problems the last couple years and as I blogged before, I started to let it take over my life. I've struggled for a few months to let go of all the anxiety and just deal with the pain. So I started praying. I started out praying just for others...If anyone requested prayer for ANYTHING, whether thru a phone call, church, facebook, even if I didnt know them, I made their prayer request my priority right in THAT EXACT moment. I didn't just jot it down for later prayer time or just try to remember, I stopped what I was doing and prayed sincerely for them right then, no matter what was going on. It made me feel better to put others in front of myself. Well, I got in a bit of a spiritual rut after a while. I still was praying for others, but I was thinking to myself, what about me? I'm leaving me out of my prayers! I was spending every nite thanking God for the blessings He has already given me, praying for my family, friends, etc...but I didn't ask Him to take care of me. Why on earth would I do that? So I started praying sincerely to the Lord to heal my body and make me whole again, heal me so I can be better used by Him, a better wife and mother to my family...and just so I could finally rid myself of the health anxieties I was having. I spent every nite before going to sleep just talking to God in my bed. I thanked Him for EVERYTHING that had been in my day. Even when my kids were being super rotten, I thanked Him that they were healthy enough to be rotten! =) I've been given so much, and I know He will give me this too! How could I not have faith in that? My faith was restored...and now I'm soooo sure that God is in control and has my best interest at heart! I BELIEVE He is healing me and I give Him all the glory for it! Come to think of it, more wonderful blessings keep happening now that I'm taking time to count! God is so cool...Counting my blessings has only poured more blessings over me and my family! I urge you to make a list...whether in your head or on paper, atleast once a day of 3 blessings God has given you that day. See how He multiplies it!

Here's a little heartsong for today...take some time to focus on the splendor of OUR KING!