Just the thought of His name...its where I find peace.

"Dear Lord...thank you for my blessings, Thank you for my salvation and even more for the salvation of my precious family. There is no greater blessing than knowing my husband, and boys and I will all be together for eternity. Thank you for everything you have given us on a daily basis, for putting up with my drama and my crazy, for loving me as your child even when I may treat you like a parent I'm trying desperately to rebel against. Thank you for my church and church family, for the hedge of protection you have around my household, and for my healthy children."

This is how I start my prayers at night...Trust me, after that comes a long list of Lord, please do this or give us this, or allow this...He deserves my praise just for putting up with me and being willing to listen to me whenever I call out His name.
The point of this post...Peace in my prayers...I have a severe problem with getting to sleep...unless I'm just to the point of passing out exhaustion, I can not go straight to sleep when I get to bed. Between pain and tingling from my fibromyalgia and a mind that never rests, because I'm honestly afraid I will miss some amazing precious moment in this short life, I have had many many sleepless nights. However, in the last couple of years, I have found rest in the name of Jesus. Not just saying His name, but praying in His name...I don't know what it is about prayer and talking to God, but it just gives me peace and sometimes I pass out in the middle of prayer. Maybe cause I talk to much, but I really think its from the peace I find there. I can not go to sleep without praying. Not that I ever should, but you know, you get busy, your mind wanders, and sometimes I forget. I literally toss and turn until it hits me...I haven't prayed. Sometimes it doesn't hit me till I've tossed around a good several hours...I've seen 3 & 4am before. But, As soon as I do...I'm out like a light! Like I said, sometimes I don't even get to finish. All I can say is its like God is saying, "Ok Jill, I was just waiting for you, now get some rest, my child." I love Him for that...My Big Daddy! He gives me love, He gives me heavenly hugs in times of sorrow and despair; and on sleepless nights, He gives me rest. If I'm not focusing on Him, I'm just hurting myself. I urge you, if you are restless and sleepless like I have been soooo much of my life, start talking to God. Even if it doesn't cause you to pass out, it can only bless you! You won't feel lonely and I guarantee you will gain more peace in your life. We all need that don't we? Especially in this world full of evil and fear. Your Father loves you...He wants to hear from you! He will give you rest...all that are weary and heavy laden. That's what He does.

This song isn't necessarily about praying before bed...but its a song of peace for me. The video is old, and the song is too...but this has to be my most favorite version of it ever. I feel such peace when I close my eyes and listen to this song. I hope you do to. It is well...with my soul.

I'm no quitter...

This post is gonna be a little different. I usually use a Christian song, or one that could be spiritual, but today I'm just feeling like a fighter. Its the fire in me that God blessed me with that makes me not quit. For the past couple of years I have been building a home based business with the goal of someday having a storefront cupcakery. Cupcakes are my passion in the workforce. I LOVE making new flavors, I LOVE striving to have the best tasting, cutest, most chic cupcakes out there and I'm determined to someday be the Starbucks of the Cupcake world. Since I started out on this endeavor I have received a lot of doubts and criticism, even from some family members, close friends, and church family. That hurts way worse than any criticism from a stranger. It isn't that they don't think my product is good...they just seem to think I'm dreaming too big. I'm not rich, I realize that, And I'm going to have to bust my tail every step of the way to make this thing happen because I don't just have the money to throw down and open shop. But I'm determined! I LOVE what I do! I love my family, and I love the support my husband and kids have for me on this journey. I won't quit, and I won't fail. So people can keep their words and thoughts flying at me, its not gonna break me. When it comes to this part of my life, I'm bulletproof. My skin is thicker than the daggers thrown at my heart. My will is stronger than the defeat some may think is in my future. You can get me mad all you want, But I will just fight harder. And when the day comes that I'm standing in front of my storefront with a ginormous pair of scissors to cut that BIG HOT PINK BOW on opening day, this song will be playing for EVERYONE to hear! I AM TITANIUM!

Ever wake up feeling like this?

Its Thursday...I need a pick-me-up! How 'bout you?
My allergies get worse every single year...So far I have had a headache for 5 days and now the pressure in my nose and under my eyes is sooo bad I feel like I'm gonna pass out about once every 10 minutes. Fabulous!

Needless to say, getting moving today is not so easy. And I have a cookie order to make for pick up late this afternoon, My son has a midweek football game tonight, then I have to go supply shopping and stay up all night making cupcakes for a small order and a big wedding order for tomorrow. I need to do it tonight so I have my day free until delivery...made plans already.

So here is my song...not because I'm feeling chipper just yet, But because I NEED TO! AND THIS IS THE SONG TO GET THE JOB DONE. Sometimes we need a good musical kick in the pants. =)

My cup runneth over...

This is a post that is gonna be nearly impossible for me to get thru without drowning my laptop with tears. But its one I need to get out...its a song in my heart and one I know a lot of others could benefit from as they may be dealing with similar struggles.

Laura Story-Blessings

This song...I can not listen to without feeling the presence of God. Which is awesome, and emotional, and something I need every single day. This past year has been full of blessings for my family...honestly when a lot of folks are struggling with jobs, finances, failing businesses, etc...my little household has been better off than ever. I praise God for His goodness! In the past year we have gone from being a 1 scary vehicle, (could drop dead on us at any moment in the fast lane)family to a 2 brand new cars with full warranties and no worries family. Granted the payments have forced me to drop my daily Starbucks habit and settle for Instant Vias and a treat now and then, less easy dining at restaurants, and less shopping for purses, clothes, etc...but we have been blessed to make it all work. My business, Royal Icing by Jillie, within the last year has probably grown 10 times the amount of work I was getting before. I was able to quit in home child-care to do my passion full time. We have become a licensed company, bought the rights to our (work still in progress) website and we are working towards a storefront. Next on our list is the house-hunt. Which after years of longing for a home to call our own, to have space, to decorate, and to settle into, is finally in our grasp and I trust it won't be too long now. To God be the Glory, great things He hath done!


So why do I need this song? Why do I need reminding every single day of His blessings when they are obviously all around me? Why do I still whine that life isn't fair?

Even when our life is full of blessing, we still all have our struggles. I struggle with pain-from fibromyalgia and blood disorders. I try really hard not to complain too much about it, especially publically, but I'm human and sometimes I just really get ticked off and tired of it. It's not fun. But I'm blessed. I couldn't be more blessed...I have an amazing Hubbalicious who loves me to the moon and back and back again! I have 2 adorable, rotten, hilarious boys that give me reason. We have alot of love packed into this tiny house! Life is GOOD.

My main spiritual struggle lately has been that of sorrow, confusion, and asking God why. You see, my Aunt Amy is just 10 years older than me. I grew up with her practically-much like the relationship my sister(10 years younger than me had). I looked up to her and wanted to be her. I was at her high school graduation and thought, wow, my aunt is awesome. I even wanted to be a Middie just cause she was.When she was young and worked at Meijer (the grocery store) and I was probably 8 or 9, I wanted to work at Meijer when I grew up. I thought everything she did was just the greatest and coolest. Now we are both wives and moms and busy Christians involved in our churches, and going about life. A couple of years ago my aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer. Well dang it, whats up with that! I had no doubt in my mind she was gonna fight this thing and kick its butt. I highlighted my hair pink in support of her when she had to shave her hair off after the affects of chemo. We all prayed and prayed for God's healing...and it came! He healed her body and Praise be to God she was whole again! God is good and He still does miracles.

Recently, Amy went in for some testing and it was discovered her cancer was indeed back. Not only that, but it has changed and is a different type of breast cancer, it has spread to her tailbone, hipbone, lung, and liver. Ok...more butt kicking and miracle working is in order. But then came the news none of us were ready for. This form of cancer has no cure. There isn't really a whole lot the medical world can do except pain management and possibly slow the growth. So as I thought about not only how much I love my aunt, but about her kids...her boys are close to the age of my boys and she has a daughter that recently graduated high school...how on earth is this fair??? Why should her babies have to know a life without her in it? At moments like that anger and frustration and even some obscenities can tend to fly thru your mind making a mess like the flying monkeys in the Wizard of OZ...taking away hope, and assurance, and blessings. My aunt thru this has been soooo tough. I know she must have her private times of Why's as well, but she has truly been a rock. She reminds us all that 'He's Got This!' God is in control, Jill...He's got this! I know it. In my heart, I know it. My human mind doesn't get it and doesn't know how to make sense of it and wants to just throw things and get mad. I'm kinda violent like that. But my heavenly heart knows that in all things, good and bad, they work together for good, to those that love God. And we love God! One thing I can say is this has caused a new love in my family...a reminder at how much we all mean to each other. Its only natural that as we grow up, grandparents pass away, we get married and have kids and all have our own lives, that families drift apart. Things get in the way and we don't see each other nearly as much as we once did. Times have changed, lives are busier, and the family suffers. But God has given us the blessing of love thru Amy. Our family has rallied together for her in prayer, in fundraising, in support, and in love. We have cried together, we have laughed together, we have played together,(dodgeball fundraiser), and prayed together...we have remembered family is important and God gave us that. We have found strength when some might think its impossible, faith where some might just give up, and hope in the promises of God that This IS NOT Our Home! None of us are going to be on this earth forever...but we have the hope of eternity together in Heaven. And that is the greatest blessing of all. Then I think of the possible blessings to come...the what if's. What if thru Amy, someone else in our family or friends, etc, comes to know Christ as their Savior? What if someone else is given strength and hope thru the strength and hope they see in Amy? What if her legacy is a witness to everyone who hears her name? What a blessing that is! What a way for God to use her life! What a way for God to bring blessings thru raindrops!

I still believe in miracles, I still pray for more time, healing, and love for my Aunt and our family. But this I know...His promises are true, His mercies unfailing, and His hope eternal. Blessings in disguise? Maybe...but blessings none the less.

Thank you, Lord, for hearing my cries, my disappointments, my sorrows, and not just tossing me away as a complaining child, but sending me comfort and hugs reminding me of the battles You have already won for us. Ok, I'm gonna stop now before the laptop shorts out on me from all the tear drops fallen.

I'm gonna post the lyrics to the song blessings below the video...because very word is precious.



We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

Let Everything That Has Breath Praise The Lord...

I haven't been here in a while, as you can see. Life gets in the way, busy and overwhelmed, The Outlet didn't remain a priority. But I need this 'Outlet'...my heart needs it. So I am back and committed to coming here to spill my heart again.

As you can probably tell by the whole outline of my Blogspot, music speaks to me. It is a great 'Outlet' for me, for my emotions, my struggles, my stresses, and my praise. Music of all kinds...I've had some of my most spiritual gut wrenching moments listening to a song that from its writer really didn't have anything to do with spiritual things. But its all in how we 'hear' it personally. Today's blog is dedicated to Praise music, and praising the Lord. This is something I've really been focusing on during my personal music time lately.

What is praise? How do we praise?

Part of Speech: noun
Definition: congratulations; ADORATION
Synonyms: acclaim, acclamation, ACCOLADE, APPLAUSE, APPRECIATION, approbation, approval, big hand, boost, bravo, celebration, cheer, cheering, citation, commendation, compliment, cry, DEVOTION, encomium, esteem, eulogy, exaltation, extolment, flattery, glorification, GLORY, good word, homage, hurrah, hymn, kudos*, laudation, obeisance, ovation, panegyric, pat on the back, plaudit, puff, rave, recognition, recommendation, regard, sycophancy, THANKS, tribute, worship

The dictionary has praise listed as a noun...Now its time to make it a verb. Make it something I DO...to the one who deserves all our glorification.

And especially today, 9/11, praising the Lord is something I need. I know in that day, many found God, but many also turned farther from Him, asking Where was God in such a horrible tragedy. He was as much there as He is here with us today. He was there guiding Airplane passengers, giving them the courage to fight back and prevent another HUGE catastrophe, He was there in the towers, making heroes and giving comfort. He was there in the hours after as many searched for loved ones and answers, He was there with our nation's leader, giving him the words to say to a broken country and the initiative to fight evil. He was there. This world is full of sin and evil...that isn't God's fault. God gave us a beautiful, perfect, sinless world...WE, MAN screwed up. God is no less deserving of our praise just because we couldn't get it right. So today, I lift Him up in praise. For the moments I feel His presence in my life, for the times I thought I was alone, only to suddenly feel His Big Daddy arms wrapped around me, whispering that it would all be ok, to the times that my life is going smooth and fabulous and I know it isn't because of anything I have done, but all His blessing.

I lift Him up for the praise He deserves...He woke me up this morning, He gave me the gift of love, My husband, my children, my family, my friends...without Him I have none of these. And even if I didn't have these, guess what I would still have? HIM! God, my Father, My Savior, My breath...

Romans 14:11
"For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God."

Here is my Praise song for the day...its an awesome song to just close your eyes to.