I'm back! Still need my Lord...

You know that verse in the Bible that we all quote all the time..."I can do all things myself." Wait, no, thats not it. "I can do all things with my friend's help." Noooo, noooo, thats not it either.

Ok, I got it..."I can do all things thru CHRIST, which strengtheneth me." Phil. 4:13

Isn't it funny how we forget that so often? How we try to revert back to doing things ourselves and getting by on our own? I for one can not do this alone. 'I need you Lord, I need you...Every Hour I NEED YOU!'

Last night I had my first anxiety attack in a year and a half. It was scary. I was so close to going to the hospital...but the Lord gave me memory and I recognized what I was going thru. I breathed deeply and repeated to myself over and over "For God hath not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." I was still restless and seeking the Lord. I found Him in my dear friend Michelle...she talked with me, prayed for me, and encouraged me that I can beat this. I know Satan knows that my biggest fear is leaving my kids without their mommy. I know that he knows he can use that against me when it comes to my health issues. So since Ive been waiting on some test results about some bad pain and knots Ive been having again, he knew just how to get me flustered. I wasn't leaning on and trusting in my Jesus enough. Which is so ridiculous and weak of me. He has already raised my blood levels to miraculous new levels compared to what they have been, why would I think He isnt in control here too? Why? Because I foolishly thought I could handle things myself. Im sorry Lord...sorry for my doubt, my fear, and my lack of faith. Im leaning on you now...I need you, I can not do anything on my own merit! You are my strength and my refuge! "Surely God is my help, the Lord is the one who sustains me." Psalm 54:4 Thank you Michelle and all my friends that pray for me. I love you all and appreciate having prayer warrior friends!

I've been working so hard on making changes in my health and I need to remember that I need the Lord walking beside me on this journey at all times. Not just when I fall. From here on out HE is my work out partner, my dietician, my trainer, my sustainer, and most of all my loving Father who's arms I can fall in when I need to.

Here's my heartsong for this post:

To listen to it go to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0bSTs2KnAs&feature=youtube_gdata_player


Lord I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the one that guides my heart

Chorus:
Lord, I need You, oh I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Verse 2:
Where sin runs deep, Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are Lord I am free
Holiness is Christ in me
Yes where You are Lord I am free
Holiness is Christ in me

Bridge:
So teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus You're my hope and stay
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus You're my hope and stay